Mondays can feel like a drag, especially after a weekend full of relaxation.
But don’t worry, we’ve got you covered with a bunch of hilarious Monday jokes to kick off your week with laughter!
If you’re struggling to get out of bed or facing the challenges of starting a new workweek, these jokes will bring some much-needed humor to your Monday routine.
From one-liners to knock-knock jokes, there’s something for everyone in this collection.
Get ready to smile, laugh, and forget about the Monday blues. Let’s dive in and get your Monday off to a great start!
Monday Jokes One-Liners
- “I told my boss I was ready for Monday, but my coffee disagreed. It’s still deciding.”
- “Monday is the day I try to make my bed, but my blanket has other plans. It’s a tug-of-war.”
- “I hate Mondays, but they keep showing up. They’re persistent like a bad sequel.”
- “My boss asked me to work on Monday. I suggested a nap instead.”
- “Monday mornings feel like a fresh start, but it’s mostly a reset button for coffee addiction. Pressing it daily.”
- “Why do Monday mornings feel like a zombie apocalypse? Because you’re just dragging through it.”
- “I would love to join the ‘I love Mondays’ club, but I haven’t seen one yet.”
- “I’m not saying Monday is hard, but it took me 45 minutes to get out of bed.”
- “Monday is the reason I need a vacation after every weekend. It’s like a rerun I didn’t sign up for.”
- “Monday is like a math problem. Add the coffee, subtract the sleep, multiply the stress.”
- “Monday’s just a reminder that the weekend was a myth. It never really existed.”
- “I think I need a 12-step program for Monday mornings. Step one: don’t leave bed.”
- “Why don’t we tell secrets on Mondays? Because the weekend gossip’s still in your head.”
- “I started a Monday support group. It’s just me and my coffee.”
- “On Mondays, my coffee needs coffee. It’s a vicious cycle.”
- “I love how Monday keeps showing up, uninvited. It’s like that relative who stays too long.”
- “Monday should come with a warning. ‘Approach with caffeine’.”
- “I was productive today, said no one on a Monday. I’m still in bed writing this.”
- “I think I’m allergic to Mondays. I keep sneezing on my work.”
- “Monday mornings are like a bad alarm clock. They just keep going off.”
Best Picks
- “I think I’m allergic to Mondays. I keep sneezing on my work.”
- “Monday should come with a warning. ‘Approach with caffeine’.”
Positive Monday Jokes
- “Monday is the perfect day to start new goals! It’s a fresh chapter in the book of life.”
- “Let’s make Monday a day of motivation! Caffeine and optimism, my two favorite things.”
- “Monday is the day to sparkle. Just don’t forget the glitter.”
- “Good morning, Monday! Let’s make this week incredible.”
- “On Mondays, you can either complain or make the best of it. I’ll take option two, please.”
- “A new Monday is a new chance to shine! Time to set the world on fire.”
- “Monday is the day to turn your dreams into plans. Let’s start building.”
- “Don’t let the Monday blues get you down. Let’s make it a masterpiece.”
- “It’s Monday—let’s set some goals! One cup of coffee at a time.”
- “Mondays are better when you have a positive mindset! It’s all about the attitude.”
- “Monday is the start of a new adventure. Let’s make it legendary.”
- “Rise and shine! It’s Monday, the perfect day for a fresh start.”
- “Here’s to Monday and making this week unforgettable! Bring on the good vibes.”
- “Mondays are a great time for new beginnings. What will you achieve today?“
- “The best way to start the week is with a smile! Let’s make Monday our happy day.”
- “Monday is a reminder to be thankful for a new week. It’s a gift.”
- “Monday mornings are the perfect time to be inspired. Let’s go after it.”
- “You got this! Let’s conquer Monday together.”
- “Monday is an opportunity to start fresh. The sky’s the limit.”
- “Good vibes only on Monday. Let’s make it a great start to the week.”
Best Picks
- “Monday is a reminder to be thankful for a new week. It’s a gift.”
- “Rise and shine! It’s Monday, the perfect day for a fresh start.”
Dumb Monday Jokes
- “Why don’t skeletons like Mondays? Because they have no guts to get up.”
- “Why did the coffee file a police report on Monday? It got mugged.”
- “Why was the calendar always sad on Mondays? It felt like it had too many dates.”
- “Why don’t Monday mornings ever get invited to parties? Because they bring everyone down.”
- “Why was the math book sad on Monday? It had too many problems.”
- “Why did the scarecrow hate Mondays? Because he was outstanding in his field on weekends.”
- “Why did the pencil break up with the paper on Monday? It was feeling a little pointless.”
- “Why do cows hate Mondays? Because they can’t moo-tivate.”
- “Why does Monday always feel so heavy? Because it’s a ton of work.”
- “Why was the broom so tired on Monday? Because it swept through the weekend.”
- “Why did the tomato turn red on Monday? It saw the salad dressing.”
- “Why did the computer go to work on Monday? It needed to reboot.”
- “Why was the coffee always unhappy on Mondays? Because it had no grounds for joy.”
- “Why did the bicycle stay in bed on Monday? It was two-tired.”
- “Why don’t fish like Mondays? Because they don’t like to be caught up in the week.”
- “Why don’t Mondays ever go to school? They’re too tired to learn.”
- “Why did the orange not go to work on Monday? It was feeling a little peeled out.”
- “Why did the clock take a nap on Monday? It was time for a break.”
- “Why did the spider not go out on Monday? Because it was caught in a web of work.”
- “Why didn’t the pencil want to write on Monday? It had no point.”
Best Picks
- “Why did the coffee file a police report on Monday? It got mugged.”
- “Why was the calendar always sad on Mondays? It felt like it had too many dates.”
Monday Jokes for Kids
- “Why did the student bring a ladder to school on Monday? Because they wanted to go to high school.”
- “Why did the boy bring a pencil to bed on Monday? Because he wanted to draw some zzz’s.”
- “What did the teacher say to the class on Monday? Let’s get this week started with a bang!“
- “Why did the girl sit on her clock on Monday? Because she wanted to be on time!“
- “What do you call a dinosaur on Monday morning? A Tyrannosaurus Stress.”
- “Why did the banana go to the doctor on Monday? It wasn’t peeling well!“
- “What did the pencil say to the eraser on Monday? You’re rubbing me the wrong way!“
- “Why did the football team dread Mondays? Because they had a lot of ‘fumbles’ to recover from.”
- “Why did the chicken join a band on Monday? Because it had the drumsticks!”
- “What’s a Monday’s favorite snack? A muffin! It’s the ‘dough’ for the day.”
- “Why was the math book always worried on Mondays? It had too many problems.”
- “Why do Mondays and books get along so well? They both have so many chapters.”
- “What did the boy say to his homework on Monday? I’m not ‘ready’ for you yet!“
- “Why did the boy take a pencil to the beach on Monday? Because it was a ‘write’ vacation.”
- “Why did the class pet bring a backpack on Monday? It was going to ‘school’.”
- “What did the pencil say to the paper on Monday? You’re so ‘write’ for me!“
- “What did the cat say to the mouse on Monday? Time to ‘mice’ things happen.”
- “Why did the dog get in trouble on Monday? It had a ‘ruff’ day.”
- “Why did the kid bring an umbrella to school on Monday? Because it was going to rain knowledge.”
- “What did the desk say to the chair on Monday? I’m ‘sitting’ pretty today!“
Best Picks
- “Why did the student bring a ladder to school on Monday? Because they wanted to go to high school.”
- “Why did the football team dread Mondays? Because they had a lot of ‘fumbles’ to recover from.”
Knock-Knock Monday Jokes
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s Monday!”
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Wendy. Wendy who? Wendy you get off your bed, it’s time for work!”
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Mandy. Mandy who? Mandy, I’ve got a joke for you, it’s Monday!”
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for Monday madness!”
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Bea. Bea who? Bea happy, it’s Monday!”
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Alpaca. Alpaca who? Alpaca your bags, it’s a brand new week!”
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Taco. Taco who? Taco ’bout your Monday plans!”
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you need for a great Monday is a smile!”
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up, it’s Monday already!”
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Gus. Gus who? Gus what? It’s Monday, let’s get going!”
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Doris. Doris who? Doris open, let’s start Monday right!”
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Bean. Bean who? Bean looking forward to Monday all weekend!”
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Figs. Figs who? Figs the week off with a great Monday joke!”
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Lena. Lena who? Lena little positivity, it’s Monday!”
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Peas. Peas who? Peas give me five more minutes, it’s Monday!”
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Ava. Ava who? Ava great Monday!”
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Joe. Joe who? Joe going to make this Monday the best?”
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Canoe. Canoe who? Canoe feel the Monday energy?”
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Yoda. Yoda who? Yoda best at handling Monday mornings!”
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Zoe. Zoe who? Zoe, you’re going to crush this Monday!”
Best Picks
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you need for a great Monday is a smile!”
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up, it’s Monday already!”
Monday Jokes for Students
- “Why don’t students like Mondays? Because the weekend’s always too short.”
- “What’s the hardest part of Monday for a student? The ‘M’ in Monday.”
- “Why do students always feel tired on Mondays? Because they studied all weekend.”
- “Why was the student upset on Monday? Because the weekend was a class act.”
- “Why did the student sleep in on Monday? Because they were catching up on ‘rested development’.”
- “Why do students hate Mondays? Because it’s always ‘back to the grind’.”
- “Why was the pencil feeling depressed on Monday? Because it couldn’t find its point.”
- “What do students need to survive Mondays? Coffee, and more coffee.”
- “Why did the student bring a pillow to class on Monday? Because they were going to ‘nap’ their way through it.”
- “Why do students love Fridays more than Mondays? Because on Fridays, they don’t ‘class’ out.”
- “Why did the book feel tired on Monday? Because it had too many chapters to finish.”
- “Why was the student so unhappy on Monday? They had a ‘test-y’ week ahead.”
- “Why did the student hate Monday mornings? Because the weekend was ‘homework-free’.”
- “Why was the calculator so sad on Monday? Because it had too many ‘problems’.”
- “Why do students love to procrastinate on Mondays? Because Monday feels like ‘later’ already.”
- “Why was the teacher’s pet tired on Monday? Because it ‘studied’ too much over the weekend.”
- “Why did the student skip class on Monday? Because they were already ‘counting down’ to the weekend.”
- “What did the student say to the homework on Monday? Not today!“
- “Why do students never get enough sleep on Mondays? Because the weekend was just too ‘dreamy’.”
- “Why did the student bring a skateboard to class on Monday? To ‘roll’ into the week.”
Best Picks
- “Why do students hate Mondays? Because it’s always ‘back to the grind’.”
- “Why did the student sleep in on Monday? Because they were catching up on ‘rested development’.”
Monday Jokes One-Liners for Work
- “Monday is the day I go to work and pretend I have it all together. Spoiler: I don’t.”
- “I love my job on Mondays. It’s just the weekends that give me trouble.”
- “Monday at work is just an extended snooze button for my brain. Why isn’t coffee doing its job?“
- “My boss loves Monday. Mostly because they can tell me what to do.”
- “At work, Monday feels like a fresh start… for procrastination.”
- “On Mondays at work, I’m not tired; I’m just in ‘slow-motion mode’.”
- “Work on Monday is just getting through the hours until lunch. It’s a survival test.”
- “Monday at work is like the first page of a novel. It’s hard to get into it.”
- “On Monday, I think of my work as ‘just a suggestion’.”
- “I always feel productive at work on Monday… until I check my email.”
- “Monday morning at work is like a caffeine high. It doesn’t last long enough.”
- “At work, Mondays are like your car’s low gas warning. You just want to get to the next stop.”
- “Monday work mood: Still trying to wake up.”
- “Monday at work is like a computer reboot. Takes forever but necessary.”
- “At work on Mondays, I’m not a genius, I’m a professional procrastinator.”
- “Monday mornings are just work’s way of saying ‘Hey, I missed you!’”
- “On Mondays, work is just my way of pretending I’m productive.”
- “Monday work is a reminder: Life can be a grind, but coffee helps.”
- “I enjoy my job on Monday. It’s just the other four days that I’m unsure about.”
- “Monday at work is the perfect time to ask for a coffee break.”
Best Picks
- “Monday at work is like the first page of a novel. It’s hard to get into it.”
- “At work, Monday feels like a fresh start… for procrastination.”
Short Monday Jokes
- “Why did Monday go to therapy? It had a bad reputation.”
- “Monday is like a math problem. You don’t want to solve it.”
- “I have a case of the Mondays. Or maybe it’s just my caffeine withdrawal.”
- “What’s a Monday’s favorite type of music? Hard rock!”
- “Monday is the day I pretend to work. I’m not fooling anyone.”
- “Monday, you and I are like oil and water. We just don’t mix.”
- “Why was the coffee on Monday always late? It was brewing trouble.”
- “Monday is the reason why I need a vacation… from the weekend.”
- “What’s the best way to start Monday? With a smile… and a nap later.”
- “How do you make a Monday go faster? Pretend it’s Friday!“
- “What’s a Monday’s favorite workout? Running late.”
- “I don’t have a ‘case of the Mondays.’ I have a ‘don’t want to work’ syndrome.”
- “Monday is like a rubber band. It stretches forever, but I’m the one getting snapped.”
- “I’m not a morning person… especially not on Monday.”
- “What did the clock say to Monday? You’re tick-tocking me off!“
- “Monday is like a cold shower. It’s shocking but wakes you up.”
- “Monday: The day I put my ‘I’m going to work’ face on. It’s not convincing.”
- “What do you call a Monday that feels like a Wednesday? A dream.”
- “Monday, the day you realize the weekend was just a figment of your imagination.”
- “Why don’t Mondays ever play poker? Because they always fold.”
Best Picks
- “Monday is the reason why I need a vacation… from the weekend.”
- “I’m not a morning person… especially not on Monday.”
Monday School Jokes
- “Why did the student eat their homework on Monday? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!“
- “Why did the pencil get in trouble on Monday? It didn’t stay in line!“
- “What do you call a school on Monday morning? A ‘no’ zone.”
- “What did the student say about Monday? It’s too ‘boring’ to be a holiday!“
- “Why was the notebook so sad on Monday? It had too many pages to fill.”
- “Why don’t pencils ever want to go to school on Monday? They’re always getting erased!“
- “Why was the school always empty on Mondays? Because everyone was still sleeping.”
- “Why did the student bring a ladder to school? Because they wanted to go to high school.”
- “What did the student do when their pencil broke on Monday? They just ‘re-pointed’ it.”
- “Why don’t students like Mondays? Because they’re always so ‘stressed’ out!“
- “What did the teacher say on Monday? ‘Get ready to learn some new ‘stuff’!’“
- “Why did the classroom feel like a jungle on Monday? Because the students were wild!“
- “Why did the student take a nap in class on Monday? Because it was ‘dream school’!“
- “What do you call a student who sleeps through Monday? A professional napper.”
- “Why did the teacher feel like a superhero on Monday? They had the ‘power’ to teach!”
- “Why was the math book always worried on Monday? It had too many problems.”
- “What did the student say to their teacher on Monday? ’I’m ready for you to teach me something new!’“
- “Why don’t students ever talk on Mondays? Because they are all ‘monday-ing’ around.”
- “What did the student do when their eraser ran out of space? They ‘marked’ a new one.”
- “Why did the student bring extra pencils to class? Because it was a ‘write’ decision.”
Best Picks
- “Why did the student eat their homework on Monday? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!“
- “Why did the pencil get in trouble on Monday? It didn’t stay in line!“
Monday Jokes to Brighten Your Day
- “Why did Monday always bring sunshine? Because it was too bright to be gloomy.”
- “What’s the most optimistic part of your week? Monday morning, obviously!“
- “What did the sun say to Monday? You make my day brighter!“
- “What’s the difference between Monday and the weekend? Monday is the restart button!“
- “Why do people say Monday is the best? Because it means you survived the weekend!“
- “What do you get when you cross Monday with a smile? A great start to your week!“
- “Why did Monday bring flowers? Because it was ready to bloom!“
- “How does Monday stay positive? By counting all the things to be grateful for!“
- “Why does Monday love starting fresh? It’s like a new chance to grow!“
- “What’s Monday’s favorite food? ‘Fresh starts’ served on a plate!“
- “What did the coffee say to Monday? Let’s make this a ‘brew-tiful’ day!“
- “Why does Monday love numbers? Because it’s a ‘countdown’ to success!“
- “What does Monday’s morning sun always say? Rise and shine!“
- “What’s Monday’s secret weapon? A positive attitude and a fresh cup of coffee!“
- “Why does Monday want you to smile? Because it’s the perfect start to your week!“
- “What did Monday say to Tuesday? Let’s keep it ‘rolling’!“
- “What does Monday love most? A good challenge.”
- “Why does Monday make you feel alive? Because it gives you a new beginning!“
- “How does Monday express love? By bringing fresh possibilities your way!“
- “What’s Monday’s motto? Let’s do this!“
Best Picks
- “What’s Monday’s favorite food? ‘Fresh starts’ served on a plate!“
- “What did the coffee say to Monday? Let’s make this a ‘brew-tiful’ day!“
Dumb Monday Jokes
- “Why don’t Monday mornings ever win the lottery? Because they’re too broke.”
- “What’s Monday’s favorite color? Dull grey—because it never gets anything done.”
- “Why did Monday bring a ladder to the office? Because it wanted to reach new heights.”
- “Why did the pencil refuse to work on Monday? It was too pointless.”
- “What did the chair say to Monday? Take a seat, I’ll be back after my nap.”
- “Why did Monday bring a sandwich to work? Because it was ‘bread’ for success.”
- “Why doesn’t Monday ever go on vacation? Because it’s always stuck in a rut.”
- “What’s Monday’s favorite song? ’I Will Survive’ by Gloria Gaynor.”
- “What did the Monday say to the coffee cup? I’m not fully awake yet.”
- “Why did Monday bring a broken pencil to class? Because it couldn’t draw a good conclusion.”
- “Why don’t Mondays like playing hide and seek? Because they’re too easy to find.”
- “What did the clock say to Monday? It’s time to be boring again.”
- “Why was Monday so good at golf? It always made the worst putts.”
- “What did Monday do to make things better? Nothing, just sat there, being Monday.”
- “Why was the office printer always so mad on Mondays? It was always out of paper.”
- “Why was Monday such a bad comedian? Because it had no punchlines.”
- “Why did Monday bring a pillow to work? Because it needed a nap.”
- “What did Monday say to the weekend? You’re better off without me.”
- “What’s Monday’s biggest fear? Losing its job to Friday.”
- “Why don’t Mondays play video games? Because they’re always stuck on pause.”
Best Picks
- “Why don’t Monday mornings ever win the lottery? Because they’re too broke.”
- “What did Monday bring a broken pencil to class? Because it couldn’t draw a good conclusion.”
Knock-Knock Monday Jokes
- “Knock knock! Who’s there? Monday! Monday who? Monday the only day that matters!”
- “Knock knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad it’s not another Monday?”
- “Knock knock! Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce have a great Monday!”
- “Knock knock! Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? No, silly, Cow says Moo—but Monday says ‘boo’!”
- “Knock knock! Who’s there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you! Now let’s survive Monday!”
- “Knock knock! Who’s there? Woo. Woo who? Don’t get too excited—it’s just Monday!”
- “Knock knock! Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? Butter buckle up, Monday’s here!”
- “Knock knock! Who’s there? Ya. Ya who? No, I don’t like Mondays either.”
- “Knock knock! Who’s there? Police. Police who? Police, let it be Friday already!”
- “Knock knock! Who’s there? Cow. Cow who? Cow you believe it’s Monday again?”
- “Knock knock! Who’s there? Luke. Luke who? Luke who’s back to work on Monday!”
- “Knock knock! Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah Monday is better than last Monday!”
- “Knock knock! Who’s there? Chicken. Chicken who? Chicken out of Monday and let me sleep in!”
- “Knock knock! Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up, it’s Monday!”
- “Knock knock! Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You’re welcome, now get back to work—it’s Monday!”
- “Knock knock! Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce have a better Monday this week!”
- “Knock knock! Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow Monday’s a good Monday!”
- “Knock knock! Who’s there? Al. Al who? Al-ways hate Mondays!”
- “Knock knock! Who’s there? Leaf. Leaf who? Leaf me alone, it’s Monday!”
- “Knock knock! Who’s there? Ollie. Ollie who? Ollie come back on Friday!”
Best Picks
- “Knock knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad it’s not another Monday?”
- “Knock knock! Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? Butter buckle up, Monday’s here!”
Monday Jokes for Kids
- “Why did the pencil go to school on Monday? Because it wanted to draw a good week!“
- “What’s the hardest thing about Mondays? Getting out of bed!“
- “What do you call a Monday that makes you smile? A rare occasion!“
- “Why do Mondays always get a bad rap? Because they’re so ‘Monday’!“
- “Why can’t you ever trust a Monday? It’s always up to something!“
- “Why do kids love Mondays? Because it’s pizza day!“
- “What did the coffee say to the kids on Monday? Let’s make today a great day!“
- “Why was the math book so sad on Monday? Because it had too many problems.”
- “Why did the Monday bring a lunchbox to school? Because it was ‘packed’ with fun!“
- “What’s a kid’s favorite way to start a Monday? With cartoons and waffles!“
- “Why did the Monday go to the party? To make everything better!“
- “What’s Monday’s favorite snack? Cookies—because it’s ‘crumbling’ under pressure!“
- “Why did the kid bring a backpack to Monday’s school? Because Monday’s gotta ‘carry’ the weight!“
- “What did the Monday say to the weekend? I’ll catch up to you next time!“
- “Why do Mondays always come with homework? Because they want you to learn new things!“
- “What did Monday say to the weekend? You’re my competition!“
- “What do you call a Monday that feels like a Tuesday? A dream come true!“
- “Why don’t kids like Mondays? They’re just too slow to start the week!“
- “Why was the classroom so noisy on Monday? Because everyone was talking about the weekend!“
- “Why don’t you want to fight Monday? It’ll just leave you in the dust!“
Best Picks
- “Why did the pencil go to school on Monday? Because it wanted to draw a good week!“
- “What’s the hardest thing about Mondays? Getting out of bed!“
