🔥 230+Savage Roasts And Insult Jokes That Burn For 2025!

Roasting insult jokes are a fun way to bring humor into any conversation, as long as everyone is on the same page!

These jokes can add some friendly heat to your interactions, but it’s important to know when to turn it off.

If you’re looking for a way to roast your friends or just need a few savage one-liners for a laugh, this collection has you covered.

Get ready to enjoy some playful insults, witty comebacks, and clever jabs—all in good fun!

Savage Insults

You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.
You’re proof that even Google doesn’t have all the answers.
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
You’re the human equivalent of a participation trophy.
I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
You have the perfect face for radio.
I’ve seen salads dressed better than you.
If you were any more inbred, you’d be a sandwich.
You must be the square root of negative one because you can’t be real.
You’re like a software update—whenever I see you, I hit “remind me later.”
I’d explain it to you, but I left my English-to-Dingbat dictionary at home.
You’re not stupid; you just have bad luck thinking.
You’re like a phone with no signal—pointless.
You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
You bring everyone around you down, just like gravity.
If I wanted your opinion, I’d ask for it.
You’re like a broken pencil—pointless.
You’re like a slinky—totally useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you talk.

Best Picks:

“You’re the human equivalent of a participation trophy.”
“You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.”

Best Insults to Shut Someone Up

I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
You’ve got the right to remain silent… and the ability to ignore it.
I’m not saying you’re ugly, but you’re like the back of a spoon—just not right.
It’s not that you’re ugly, you’re just, like, a solid 3 a.m. snack.
I’d explain it to you, but I left my English-to-Dingbat dictionary at home.
Your brain’s on vacation, but the rest of you is still here.
You have the perfect face for radio.
You’re like a software update—whenever I see you, I hit “remind me later.”
I don’t know what’s louder, your mouth or the silence you leave behind.
Your mind’s like a parachute—only works when it’s open.
You bring so much joy when you leave the room.
Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?
It’s not that you’re ugly, it’s just that you’re harder to look at than a black hole.
No one could ever hate you more than I do right now.
You make a rock look like a genius.
It’s okay, you don’t need to explain yourself. The silence already said it all.
You’re like a cloud, but not a cool one—just an annoying one.
You’re the reason they put instructions on shampoo bottles.
If there was a competition for being this annoying, you’d come in second.
You’re the reason we have a “Do not disturb” sign on the door.

Best Picks:

“You bring so much joy when you leave the room.”
“You’re the reason they put instructions on shampoo bottles.”

Painful Insult Words

You’re like a software update: I just don’t have the energy for you.
If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents.
I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were a living monument to bad decisions.
You’re not stupid; you just have bad luck thinking.
Your brain’s like a sponge, only dumber.
Are you really this stupid or do you just want attention?
You’re the human version of a participation trophy.
I could listen to you talk all day… if it were on mute.
You’re the kind of person who would lose a fight to a vending machine.
You’re like a cloud, but without the rain—useless.
If I had a penny for every time you said something intelligent, I’d be bankrupt.
If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
You’re a few fries short of a Happy Meal.
You’re like a phone with no signal—pointless.
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s just that I don’t enjoy your existence.
Your words are like glitter—no one wants them, but they always stick.
It’s like talking to a brick wall—only the wall is more interesting.
You’re as useful as a pencil with no lead.
Your opinions are like bad Wi-Fi—nobody cares, and it doesn’t work.
I’d give you a piece of my mind, but I’m afraid you won’t understand.

Best Picks:

“You’re a few fries short of a Happy Meal.”
“Your words are like glitter—no one wants them, but they always stick.”

Dark Insults

You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
You’re the reason the “cancel” button was invented.
If you were any more inbred, you’d be a sandwich.
Your thoughts are like a haunted house—dark, twisted, and full of nothing.
Your presence is like a bad dream, and I can’t wake up from it.
You must be the square root of negative one because you can’t be real.
You have a face for radio and a voice for silent movies.
You’re proof that some people never leave the dark ages.
You might want to check under your bed tonight, because I’m pretty sure you’re the monster.
You’re like a black hole—you suck the life out of everything around you.
I don’t have the energy to deal with you today… or ever.
You’re like a virus—annoying, persistent, and impossible to get rid of.
Your mind is like a cave, dark and full of bats.
You’re like a bad curse; you just don’t go away.
You must be allergic to good decisions.
I could say you’re ugly, but that would be an insult to ugly people.
You’re proof that evolution can go backward.
You’ve got the kind of smile that makes people uncomfortable.
You’re a walking disaster, and I forgot my umbrella.
You’re like a mystery novel that nobody wants to read.

Best Picks:

“You’re proof that some people never leave the dark ages.”
“You must be the square root of negative one because you can’t be real.”

Roast Jokes

You have the perfect face for a mask.
Your mind’s like a parachute—it only works when it’s open.
You’re the reason they put directions on shampoo bottles.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.
You bring so much joy when you leave the room.
You have the fashion sense of a wet paper bag.
You’re like a slinky—fun to watch fall down the stairs, but useless otherwise.
I would agree with you, but we’d both be wrong.
I’d love to see things from your perspective, but I’m afraid I’d get lost.
Your brain is like a ghost—empty and wandering around aimlessly.
You’ve got more issues than Vogue.
You remind me of a cloud, because every time you leave, it’s a brighter day.
You’re like a fortune cookie with no fortune—just empty and disappointing.
You’re a few fries short of a Happy Meal.
If you were any more inbred, you’d be a sandwich.
You have the intellectual depth of a puddle.
I’m not saying you’re stupid, but you could use a little more air in your tires.
You’re the kind of person who’d lose a fight to a vending machine.
You bring nothing to the table except bad jokes.
Your opinions are like Wi-Fi—they’re useless when there’s no connection.

Best Picks:

“You bring so much joy when you leave the room.”
“Your brain is like a ghost—empty and wandering around aimlessly.”

Mean Jokes for Your Friends

If I wanted your opinion, I’d ask for it—don’t worry, that won’t happen.
You’re the reason I believe in time machines—so I can go back and stop myself from meeting you.
You must have been a childhood napper, because you’ve got no real personality.
You’re like a phone with no signal—pointless.
I wish I could mute you in real life.
You’re like a cloud without a silver lining—just dark and stormy.
If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.
You make a rock look like a genius.
You’re like a bad Wi-Fi signal—no one wants you around.
You’re proof that not all smart people are geniuses.
You’re like a traffic jam—just one big hassle for no good reason.
Your opinions are like expired coupons—they’re no good.
You’re so dumb, you make a rock look like Einstein.
I’ve heard more intelligent things from my toaster.
You’re the reason they invented the mute button.
If you were any more annoying, I’d have to call you “brother.”
You’re the human version of a typo.
Your personality is like a plain toast—bland, boring, and no one really likes it.
You’re like a broken pencil—pointless.
I’d explain it to you, but I’m afraid your brain can’t process it.

Best Picks:

“You’re the reason I believe in time machines—so I can go back and stop myself from meeting you.”
“You make a rock look like a genius.”

Funny Insult Names

Captain Clueless
Professor Pompous
Sir Talks-a-lot
Princess Drama
Duke of Dumb
Countess of Confusion
Master Mumble
Queen of Quirk
General Gloom
Baroness Boring
Lord Loser
Count Cringe
Lady Lame
King of Klutz
Squire Stupid
The Walking Disaster
Countess of Chaos
Sir Sucks-a-lot
King of Clowns
Duke of Dullness

Best Picks:

“Sir Talks-a-lot”
“King of Klutz”

Best Picks:

“Dunce”
“Buffoon”

Sarcastic Insults for Friends

You must be the square root of negative one, because you can’t be real.
Is that your face, or is your neck blowing a bubble?
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
You’re proof that even Google can’t find the answers to everything.
You have the perfect face for radio.
Your personality is like a broken pencil—pointless.
You’re the reason people use the “skip intro” button on TV shows.
You couldn’t pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.
You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
If I wanted to hear your opinion, I’d ask for it—don’t worry, I won’t.
You have the intelligence of a rock, but even rocks have more purpose.
You’re like a cloud—when you disappear, the day gets better.
I’m not saying you’re dumb, but you make a rock look like a genius.
You couldn’t organize a two-car parade.
I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
You make a sloth look like it’s in a hurry.
I’ve seen salads dressed better than you.
You’re the human equivalent of a participation trophy.
You’re the reason they need a warning label on toothpaste.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.

Best Picks:

“You’re the reason people use the ‘skip intro’ button on TV shows.”
“If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.”

Savage Insults for Friends

I envy people who don’t know you.
You’re like a cloud—you might be here, but you’ll never really leave an impact.
If I had a nickel for every time you said something interesting, I’d be broke.
You have the charisma of a damp rag.
You’re not stupid; you just have bad luck thinking.
You’re like a software update—always annoying and never really improving anything.
You have a face for radio and a voice for silent movies.
Your ideas are like expired milk—no one wants them.
I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
You have all the answers, but not the right ones.
Your existence is proof that the universe has a sense of humor.
You’re like a broken pencil—pointless.
If I had to describe your brain, I’d call it a Google search bar without Wi-Fi.
You’re like a sloth on a caffeine crash—moving slowly and making no progress.
You don’t have the brains God gave a goose.
You could be replaced with a mannequin, and no one would notice.
Your best idea was not existing.
You have a gift for turning everything you touch into failure.
If I wanted your opinion, I’d ask Siri.
You should be a YouTube tutorial for how not to do anything.

Best Picks:

“I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
“You should be a YouTube tutorial for how not to do anything.”

Clever Insults for Friends

You’re not the sharpest tool in the shed, but you’re definitely the most colorful.
You bring so much joy when you leave the room.
If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose.
Your soul is like a broken pencil—pointless.
I’m sorry, did you just say something? I was too busy listening to my thoughts.
You’re like a cloud—when you disappear, things get clearer.
You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
I wish I could mute you in real life.
You remind me of a cloud… when you disappear, things get better.
Your brain is like a sponge—except it absorbs absolutely nothing.
You’re like a malfunctioning vending machine—everything you say is a disappointment.
You’re not a complete idiot—you’re just missing some pieces.
You’re the reason I need a cup of coffee in the morning—just to deal with you.
You’re the human equivalent of a typo.
If I had a dollar for every dumb thing you said, I’d be a billionaire by now.
Your brain is like an internet connection—weak and unreliable.
You’re like a phone with no signal—pointless.
Your thoughts are like a lightbulb—flickering and rarely on.
You have the face of a dictionary—full of words no one understands.
I don’t know whether to laugh or call an exorcist when you speak.

Best Picks:

“You’re like a cloud—when you disappear, things get clearer.”
“I wish I could mute you in real life.”

Best Insult Jokes for Friends

If I wanted your opinion, I’d ask for it—don’t worry, I won’t.
I don’t know what’s tighter—your jeans or your brain.
Your brain is like a web browser—too many tabs open, and none of them are working.
You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
The only time you’re right is when you agree with me.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.
You’re like a mobile phone with no service—completely useless.
You bring so much joy when you leave the room.
You’re like a sloth—constantly taking things slow, but still not getting anywhere.
I’d agree with you, but we’d both be wrong.
Your brain is like a sponge—only it doesn’t soak up anything useful.
You have the personality of a damp rag.
I could say you’re dumb, but it would be an insult to rocks.
If you were any less intelligent, you’d be a potato.
I would explain it to you, but I don’t have enough time or patience.
You must be a Wi-Fi router because nobody’s ever connected to you.
You have a gift for making everything worse.
You’re like a broken pencil—pointless.
Your brain is like a mystery novel—it’s full of empty pages.
You’re the reason they have a “do not disturb” sign on a bathroom door.