A wedding is a celebration of love, commitment, and often… laughter! Humor adds a magical spark to any wedding, making guests smile and creating unforgettable memories.
If you’re a master of ceremonies, giving a toast, or just looking to lighten the mood, wedding jokes can bring everyone closer.
In this article, we’ve compiled the best jokes, puns, and witty one-liners tailored for every moment of the big day.
From hilarious quips about married life to kid-friendly laughs, there’s a joke for everyone. Let the giggles flow and turn the “I do’s” into “Ha-ha’s!”
Wedding Jokes One-Liners
- Why do married couples never tire? Because they take turns carrying the load!
- Marriage: A walk in the park—Jurassic Park!
- What did the bride say to the groom on their wedding day? “You’re stuck with me now!”
- Weddings are emotional… Even the cake is in tiers!
- My wife said I never listen. At least, I think that’s what she said!
- Why did the groom bring a pencil to the ceremony? In case he needed to draw attention!
- Marriage is like Wi-Fi: Strong when connected, but frustrating when it drops!
- What’s the secret to a happy marriage? Keep the fights clean and the jokes dirty!
- Why did the couple bring a ladder to their wedding? To reach new heights together!
- My wife wanted a fairy-tale wedding. Now she says I’m the frog!
- Marriage is all about compromise: She says jump, and I ask how high!
- Why are grooms always calm at weddings? They’re on cloud wine!
- Love is blind, but marriage… is an eye-opener!
- Why did the bride blush during the vows? Because the groom promised to cherish her… and her shoe collection!
- They say marriage is like a deck of cards: All you need is a heart and a diamond—but eventually, you wish for a club and a spade!
- How do couples stay happy? By taking turns being wrong!
- What did the DJ say at the wedding? “All the single ladies—never mind!”
- Why do married people live longer? They avoid risky activities… like arguing!
- The groom said, “I promise to always be right.” The bride said, “That’s the first lie of the marriage!”
- Why do married couples always have matching outfits? So the arguments can look coordinated!
Best Picks
- Why are weddings always fancy? Because they’re a tie affair!
- What’s the key to a great marriage? A lot of yes-dear moments!
Wedding Jokes for MC
- “I asked the groom how he knew she was the one.” “She’s the only one who puts up with my jokes!”
- Why did the MC bring a broom to the wedding? To sweep everyone off their feet!
- “Marriage is an institution.” “So, make sure to enjoy the freedom while it lasts!”
- How do you start a wedding toast? With a raised glass and lowered expectations!
- Why don’t grooms tell long jokes? They’ve already signed up for a lifetime speech!
- “The secret to marriage is like the secret to comedy.” “Timing!”
- Why did the bride take a ruler to the ceremony? To measure up to the big day!
- “They say love is blind.” “Well, that’s what the groom’s friends are banking on!”
- “Let’s raise a glass to the happy couple.” “And hope they don’t drop it!”
- Why do MCs love weddings? They get all the applause without saying ‘I do’!
- Why did the MC avoid jokes about the bride? Because she’s the queen of the day!
- “The groom told me he was nervous.” “But he looks surprisingly calm for someone signing his life away!”
- Why do MCs always look sharp? Because they know how to tie things together!
- “Marriage is like a fine wine.” “It gets better—or vinegar—over time!”
- Why did the MC bring a dictionary to the wedding? To spell out the love!
- “The groom once asked, ‘What’s love?’” “And today, he finally gets the answer: it’s expensive!”
- Why do MCs love married life jokes? Because they always bring the house down!
- “They’re the perfect couple.” “Because they’re equally stubborn!”
- “Here’s to the groom who finally tied the knot.” “And to the bride who holds the leash!”
- “Remember, love is like a good joke.” “It’s all about delivery!”
Best Picks
- What did the MC say to the newlyweds? “May your love last longer than the buffet line!”
- Why are MCs always smiling? Because they’re not paying for the wedding!
Short Wedding Jokes
- Why did the bride wear white? Because she wanted to blend in with the wedding cake!
- Marriage: The ultimate test of love… and patience!
- Why do wedding planners never get married? Because they know too much!
- The groom’s vows were simple: “I promise to always be your knight in shining armor.”
- Why did the couple sit far apart during their wedding reception? To start working on their space!
- A happy marriage is like a long nap: It’s best when you don’t interrupt it!
- What’s the best thing about getting married? You get to wear fancy shoes without anyone asking why!
- “I’ll love you until the end of time.” “And then I’ll send you a reminder!”
- What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!
- Why are weddings always so emotional? Because even the cake is in tiers!
- Why did the bride start crying at the altar? Because she realized she was late for the honeymoon!
- What did the groom say to the bride? “I vow to make you laugh—at least once a day!”
- How do you know you’ve found the one? They laugh at your bad jokes!
- Why was the groom so calm? Because he was already used to saying “yes dear!”
- How do married people get their sleep? They take turns snoring!
- Why did the bride give the groom a calendar? So he could plan the rest of his life!
- What’s the first thing a couple should buy after getting married? A second TV remote!
- Why do newlyweds sleep so well? Because they’re both dreaming of the honeymoon!
- What’s a good reason to get married? So you never have to make dinner alone again!
- The first year of marriage is the hardest: After that, you just need a good sense of humor!
Best Picks
- Marriage: The ultimate test of love… and patience!
- Why do wedding planners never get married? Because they know too much!
Wedding Jokes for Kids
- What did the bride say to the groom? “I love you more than cake!”
- Why did the bride wear a veil? Because she wanted to look “unveiled” by love!
- What did the groom say after the ceremony? “Finally! I’m legally allowed to say ‘Yes dear’!”
- What’s the difference between a wedding and a birthday? The cake is better at the wedding!
- Why do brides always smile? Because they’re the ones holding the bouquet!
- What’s the best thing about weddings? The cake, of course!
- Why did the bride bring a pencil to the wedding? To “draw” attention to herself!
- What did the bride’s shoes say? “I’m ready to walk down the aisle!”
- Why don’t weddings ever get boring? Because everyone is “knot” bored!
- What does the bride carry on her wedding day? A bouquet of happiness!
- What do you call a wedding without cake? A party without a punchline!
- Why did the groom bring a pencil to the altar? To “sketch” the perfect future!
- Why did the wedding ring go to school? To be “learned” in love!
- What do wedding guests always bring? A smile and their best dance moves!
- Why was the groom nervous? Because the bride might say “I do” to someone else!
- What’s the hardest part about weddings? Trying to get the kids to stop playing with the flowers!
- Why do brides like the color white? Because it’s the color of happiness!
- What did the groom’s suit say? “I’m here to tie the knot!”
- Why did the bride choose a flower bouquet? Because flowers never argue!
- What do brides always say to their flowers? “Thank you for making my day bloom!”
Best Picks
- What did the bride say to the groom? “I love you more than cake!”
- What do you call a wedding without cake? A party without a punchline!
Wedding Jokes for Speech
- “Marriage is a workshop…” “Where the husband works and the wife shops!”
- “I’ve been married for years, and it feels like it’s been five minutes.” “Underwater!”
- “The key to a happy marriage?” “A sense of humor and a lot of forgiveness!”
- “Marriage: The only war where you sleep with the enemy.” “But you make up at breakfast!”
- “Behind every successful man…” “There’s a surprised woman!”
- “The best part of being married is the one person who knows everything about you.” “And still loves you!”
- “Why did the groom wear a tuxedo?** “Because it’s the only thing that can handle the bride’s dress!”
- “Here’s to a marriage that lasts forever…” “Or at least until the honeymoon is over!”
- “I have to admit, marriage isn’t perfect.” “But it’s a whole lot better than being single!”
- “My wife says I’m like a wedding cake…” “I’m a little sweet and a whole lot of layers!”
- “If marriage had a tag line…” “It would be: ‘You can’t spell marriage without ‘err’!”
- “A successful marriage requires falling in love…” “With the same person every day!”
- “Why don’t husbands ever forget their wedding anniversary?” “Because they know the consequences!”
- “Marriage is all about finding that one person…” “Who you can annoy for the rest of your life!”
- “What’s the best part about marriage?” “Having someone to blame everything on!”
- “The perfect marriage is two people who know how to keep secrets.” “And lie well!”
- “Do you know what marriage is?” “It’s the relationship that turns into a three-ring circus!”
- “In marriage, the most important part is…” “Knowing who’s right—and who’s not saying anything about it!”
- “When you marry someone, you marry their whole family.” “That’s a lot of extra baggage!”
- “The best part about marriage is…” “Having someone to remind you about everything you forgot!”
Best Picks
- “Marriage is a workshop…” “Where the husband works and the wife shops!”
- “I have to admit, marriage isn’t perfect.” “But it’s a whole lot better than being single!”
Jokes About Marriage Advice
- “My marriage advice: Never go to bed angry…” “Stay up and argue!”
- “Marriage advice: The secret to a long marriage?” “Always say ‘Yes dear’—it works!”
- “Don’t listen to marriage advice…” “Unless it’s from someone who’s been married for over 50 years!”
- “Marriage advice for men: Always listen to your wife.” “Even if you don’t understand her!”
- “Never argue in front of your kids.” “They’ll learn how to win debates from you!”
- “Marriage advice: If you want to be right…” “Just agree with your spouse!”
- “If you want a good marriage…” “Let your spouse pick the restaurant!”
- “Marriage advice: If at first, you don’t succeed…” “Try doing what your spouse said!”
- “Marriage advice for women: Never stop flirting with your husband.” “Even when you’re arguing!”
- “My marriage advice is simple…” “Always buy the gift your spouse wants—not the one you want!”
- “Marriage advice: A successful marriage is all about compromise…” “And a lot of ‘Yes dear’ moments!”
- “Marriage is about sharing…” “And sometimes that means sharing the remote!”
- “When you get married, don’t forget to laugh…” “But only after you’ve apologized!”
- “Marriage advice: Happy wife, happy life…” “Happy husband… confused life!”
- “Marriage advice: A good marriage is like a good meal…” “It’s all about the seasoning!”
- “The best advice for marriage?” “Don’t marry someone you can’t stand!”
- “Marriage advice for men: Always say ‘I love you’ first…” “Or risk sleeping on the couch!”
- “A good marriage requires the ability to argue…” “And then laugh about it later!”
- “If you want to stay happily married…” “Always let her pick the movie!”
- “The secret to marriage is…” “A great sense of humor and a backup plan!”
Best Picks
- “Marriage advice: The secret to a long marriage?” “Always say ‘Yes dear’—it works!”
- “Marriage advice for women: Never stop flirting with your husband.” “Even when you’re arguing!”
Marriage Jokes for Adults
- “Marriage is when a man and woman become one.” “The trouble starts when they try to decide which one!”
- “I love being married.” “It’s like having a built-in best friend who also loves to tell you what to do!”
- “Marriage: The only place where you can talk about your problems and never get a solution!”
- “I married my wife for her looks…” “But not the ones she’s been giving me lately!”
- “Marriage is all about compromise…” “You pick your battles and let her win!”
- “My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape…” “That would be a big step forward!”
- “The secret to a happy marriage? “You learn to laugh at the little things—like when she says ‘I’m fine!’”
- “Marriage is like a deck of cards…” “At the start, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. But by the end, you want a club and a spade!”
- “Marriage is an institution…” “But who wants to live in an institution?”
- “My wife says I’m not romantic anymore…” “I think it’s because I forgot to put the trash out for her!”
- “Marriage: Where a man gives his best…” “And the wife says, ‘It’s fine, I can do it better!’”
- “The best way to remember your wedding anniversary?” “Forget it once, and you’ll never forget it again!”
- “A happy marriage is a long conversation…” “That always seems to end with ‘I told you so!’”
- “When you’re married, it’s important to be open…” “But not so open you forget your anniversary!”
- “Why is marriage so tough? “Because sometimes, you have to sleep in the bed you made—literally!”
- “Marriage is like a phone call…” “At first, it’s sweet and romantic. Later on, it’s full of bills!”
- “The trick to a successful marriage?” “Marry someone who loves you just as much as they love Netflix!”
- “Why did the husband bring a ladder to his wife’s birthday party?” “Because he heard the cake was going to be “through the roof!”
- “A good marriage is all about communication…” “Especially when you’re fighting over the TV remote!”
- “Marriage is an endless conversation…” “Where one person is right, and the other one is the husband!”
Best Picks
- “Marriage is when a man and woman become one.” “The trouble starts when they try to decide which one!”
- “Marriage: The only place where you can talk about your problems and never get a solution!”
Best Wedding Jokes
- “Why did the groom bring a pencil to his wedding?” “To draw attention to his beautiful bride!”
- “What’s the best part about weddings?” “The cake, obviously!”
- “Why are wedding planners always calm?” “Because they know that love is a disaster in progress!”
- “Why is marriage like a deck of cards?” “At the start, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. But later, you’re hoping for a club and a spade!”
- “Weddings are like a camera…” “They’re best when you focus on the good times!”
- “A wedding is the only time…” “When two people become one, and the bills get split!”
- “The bride walked down the aisle and saw the cake.” “That’s when she realized she’d made the right choice!”
- “What’s the secret to a successful wedding?” “Having a great party—and a great honeymoon to recover from it!”
- “What’s a wedding without cake?” “Just a fancy party with a lot of clothes!”
- “Why don’t couples ever stay mad on their wedding day?” “Because they’re too busy planning the next celebration!”
- “Wedding advice: Love is blind…” “But marriage is the eye-opener!”
- “The best part of a wedding?” “When it’s over and you can finally eat!”
- “Weddings: When you get to say ‘I do’…” “And then spend the rest of your life saying ‘I’m sorry!’”
- “Why did the groom wear a tuxedo?” “Because he wanted to look as good as the cake!”
- “Why are weddings so expensive?” “Because you need to pay for the ceremony, the dress, and of course, the photographer who’ll make you look better than you feel!”
- “What’s the best thing about a wedding?” “It’s a good excuse to dress up and have fun—without any work!”
- “A wedding is like a work of art…” “The longer you look at it, the more you wonder what it’s really about!”
- “What makes weddings so special?” “They give us a reason to dress up, eat cake, and tell cheesy jokes!”
- “What’s the one thing every wedding needs?” “A dance floor and a DJ who knows the ‘Cupid Shuffle’!”
- “Why was the wedding reception so lively?” “Because the groom danced like no one was watching!”
Best Picks
- “What’s the best part about weddings?” “The cake, obviously!”
- “A wedding is the only time…” “When two people become one, and the bills get split!”
Wedding Jokes One Liners
- “Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right…” “And the other is the husband!”
- “Why do wedding rings look like they do?” “Because they’re the perfect symbol for eternal commitment…and financial commitment!”
- “I thought I was marrying a beautiful woman…” “Turns out I was just buying a ring and a lifelong to-do list!”
- “Marriage is like a walk in the park…” “Jurassic Park, that is!”
- “Getting married is like going to a restaurant…” “You can’t wait to order, but then you’re always worried about the bill!”
- “How do you know when you’re in a good marriage?” “When you can argue, laugh, and love all at once!”
- “Marriage is finding that one special person to annoy for the rest of your life.”
- “They say love is blind…” “But marriage is a real eye-opener!”
- “I’m in a long-term relationship with my couch…” “But my wife says I’m committed to her as well!”
- “Marriage is the only sport where you’re both the referee and the player!”
- “Why do married people live longer?” “Because they can’t argue with their spouse if they’re not around!”
- “What’s the most important part of a marriage?” “The ‘Yes dear’ moment.”
- “Marriage is like a deck of cards…” “You start with two hearts and a diamond, but end up with a club and a spade!”
- “Marriage advice: A happy wife means…” “A happy life!”
- “They say a woman is always right…” “But the man never forgets his wife’s birthday!”
- “Marriage is like a walk in the park…” “If the park is filled with wild animals and unpredictable weather!”
- “Behind every successful man is a woman…” “And behind her, there’s probably a man telling her what to do!”
- “Marriage is a bond between two people…” “One with all the ideas and the other with the memory!”
- “What’s the secret to a happy marriage?” “A sense of humor, and learning to laugh through the tough times!”
- “Marriage is like a sandwich…” “The more layers, the better it tastes!”
Best Picks
- “Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right…” “And the other is the husband!”
- “Marriage is like a walk in the park…” “Jurassic Park, that is!”
Wedding Jokes for MC
- “Let’s be honest, the only thing that matters at weddings…” “Is the cake and the dancing!”
- “Here’s to the bride and groom…” “May your love be as endless as the buffet line!”
- “Marriage: Where two become one…” “But don’t worry, there’s still plenty of room for dessert!”
- “I would like to raise a toast…” “To the couple’s everlasting love and to their shared love of food!”
- “Weddings are like a box of chocolates…” “You never know what you’re going to get, but you’re still excited!”
- “What’s a wedding without the right music?” “Just a very expensive dinner party!”
- “Marriage is when a man gives up the liberty of being right…” “For the love of being happy!”
- “Who needs a honeymoon when you have a wedding cake?”
- “Weddings are magical…” “Because you suddenly realize how many people you owe presents!”
- “Let’s celebrate love, laughter, and lots of food!”
- “Marriage is like a long trip…” “The more you talk about it, the more you wish you had packed a snack!”
- “The key to a happy marriage is communication…” “And a great Wi-Fi connection!”
- “Weddings are perfect…” “Unless you’re the one paying for them!”
- “Let’s all raise our glasses to the newlyweds…” “Who are now officially ‘partners in crime!’”
- “Weddings aren’t just about love…” “They’re about finding someone to blame for not inviting Aunt Shirley!”
- “A wedding toast isn’t complete until you say…” “Here’s to the couple and to forever…”
- “The most important thing about a wedding?” “The cake, of course!”
- “Let’s toast to love, laughter, and the bride’s beautiful dress!”
- “I can already tell, this wedding is going to be legendary…” “And I’m sure there will be plenty of embarrassing stories!”
- “Here’s to the happy couple…” “May you always find your way back to the cake table!”
Best Picks
- “Marriage: Where two become one…” “But don’t worry, there’s still plenty of room for dessert!”
- “Let’s raise a toast…” “To the couple’s everlasting love and to their shared love of food!”
