Looking for a good laugh to keep your spirits up and your heart light? Heart jokes are a perfect remedy!
If you’re seeking medical humor, puns, or just a quick laugh, these jokes will make your heart smile.
If you’re in need of a quick joke to lighten the mood, or you’re a fan of clever one-liners, there’s something for everyone.
Let’s dive into these heartwarming and funny jokes that are sure to make your day a little brighter.
Heart Jokes Medical
- I had a heart transplant, but I guess it didn’t work out… it was a heart-breaking experience!
- The doctor told me my heart is too healthy. It’s a real overachiever.
- Heart disease is no joke, but this one is… it’s heart-attack worthy!
- My heart is a muscle, but it’s also a full-time drama queen… always making a scene!
- They say laughter is good for the heart… guess that’s why my doctor is cracking jokes!
- I went to the cardiologist to ask for a second opinion… but my heart was already set on it.
- Cardiologists have the best job… they really know how to break hearts.
- My heart’s a little slow lately… guess it’s just out of rhythm.
- I’m pretty sure my heart has its own playlist… it’s all love songs, of course!
- Every time I hear a good joke, my heart skips a beat… guess I’m in love with laughter.
- I told my doctor I was feeling heartbroken… he told me to avoid puns—they’re heart strainers!
- Did you hear about the cardiologist who got into stand-up comedy? He had a heart for it.
- I went to the ER after feeling chest pain… turns out, I was just a little too attached to my phone.
- My heart’s a little out of shape… I guess it needs a workout!
- I told the cardiologist I was afraid of my heart’s condition… he said, “Don’t worry, it’s just a cardiac arrest!”
- The heart is a muscle, right? So I’m pretty sure mine is a comedy act.
- I got a heart check-up… turns out, I’m in perfect “pun”ction!
- My doctor said my heart’s in great condition… I guess I’m just “beating” expectations!
- I used to worry about heart attacks, but now I just laugh it off… beats worrying any day!
- They say a good laugh is healthy for the heart… guess I’m cardio-pun-ctually happy!
Best Picks:
- “Cardiologists have the best job… they really know how to break hearts.”
- “I went to the ER after feeling chest pain… turns out, I was just a little too attached to my phone.”
Short Heart Jokes Medical
- I thought my heart was going to explode… but it just had a “beat” down.
- Heart attacks are no joke… unless you’re a cardiologist with a good sense of humor.
- Did you hear about the heart doctor? He really knows how to pump up a crowd.
- My heart’s broken… but don’t worry, it’ll recover.
- If my heart was any bigger, I’d need a cardiologist… and a bigger chest!
- They say a doctor’s heart is full of compassion… mine’s full of puns!
- I had a heart attack once… but it was just a case of “laughing too hard.”
- I told my doctor I had a broken heart… he said, “That’s normal—hearts are fragile.”
- Why did the heart go to therapy? It needed some “pump”ing up!
- I don’t have a heart condition… I have a “pun” condition!
- I went for a heart checkup… turns out, it was just a case of “heartburn.”
- My cardiologist says I have a heart of gold… but I think it’s just a “beat”iful accessory.
- Heart problems? Just a little “beat” down!
- I asked my heart doctor if I was okay… he said, “You’re beating just fine!”
- My heart feels like it’s skipping a beat… but it’s just waiting for the punchline!
- My heart doctor always tells me to take it easy… guess I’m just too “charged” up!
- Heart failure jokes are bad… but sometimes it’s all in good fun!
- Cardiologists give great advice… especially on how to stay “beat”iful.
- The heart wants what the heart wants… and apparently, it wants more jokes!
- My heart’s in great shape… as long as it’s beating with laughter!
Best Picks:
- “I thought my heart was going to explode… but it just had a ‘beat’ down.”
- “Why did the heart go to therapy? It needed some ‘pump’ing up!”
Short Heart Jokes One Liners
- My heart’s feeling heavy… but don’t worry, it’s just full of love!
- I love you with all my heart… and with all my puns too!
- I told my heart, “You’re mine forever.” It said, “That’s a little heart to believe!”
- Heartbreaks are tough… but nothing beats a good laugh.
- I’ve got a lot of heart… unfortunately, it’s mostly full of bad jokes.
- Heart disease can be scary… but at least it gives you a reason to make a quick exit!
- I asked my heart if it’s okay… it said, “I’m fine, just a little beaten up.”
- I’m in love with my cardiologist… he has a way of making my heart skip a beat!
- If my heart were any softer… it’d be a puddle of mush.
- I’m pretty sure my heart is plotting something… it’s always scheming, just like my jokes!
- My heart’s full of joy… and bad puns.
- I’m always one beat away from disaster… but at least it makes for a great punchline!
- My heart skips a beat every time I see a joke… maybe I need to check the rhythm.
- You can’t break my heart… but you can certainly crack it up with laughter!
- I’d tell you a joke about my heart… but it might be too cardiac for you.
- My heart’s like a sponge… it soaks up all the puns.
- My heart’s feeling a little funny… and not in the “cardio” way!
- My heart has a mind of its own… I’m just along for the ride!
- Heart trouble? More like heart humor!
- My heart was out of rhythm… but it’s back on track thanks to laughter!
Best Picks:
- “I asked my heart if it’s okay… it said, ‘I’m fine, just a little beaten up.’”
- “I’d tell you a joke about my heart… but it might be too cardiac for you.”
Knock-Knock Heart Jokes
- Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Heart.
Heart who?
Heart you glad I didn’t say something cheesy? - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Beats.
Beats who?
Beats me, I’m just here for the jokes. - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cardio.
Cardio who?
Cardio your heart’s not in this, I thought you liked puns! - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Pump.
Pump who?
Pump up the jokes, let’s get this heart racing! - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Beat.
Beat who?
Beat it, this joke’s a heart winner. - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Pulse.
Pulse who?
Pulse me a good laugh! - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Vascular.
Vascular who?
Vascular humor is what my heart craves! - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Heartfelt.
Heartfelt who?
Heartfelt thanks for listening to my jokes! - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cardiac.
Cardiac who?
Cardiac arrest? Nah, it’s just a good joke! - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Artery.
Artery who?
Artery joke’s on you, this one’s funny! - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Heartbeat.
Heartbeat who?
Heartbeat this joke, and it’s on fire! - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Pumpkin.
Pumpkin who?
Pumpkin up the laughs, it’s heart time! - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Stent.
Stent who?
Stent you a heart joke for the road! - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Love.
Love who?
Love these jokes, they’re heartwarming! - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Angina.
Angina who?
Angina have to work harder to crack my jokes! - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Heartache.
Heartache who?
Heartache from laughing so much! - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Arteries.
Arteries who?
Arteries jokes are so funny, they’ll leave you breathless! - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Coronary.
Coronary who?
Coronary what? I just came to tell a joke! - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cardiogram.
Cardiogram who?
Cardiogram me for the funny! - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Rhythm.
Rhythm who?
Rhythm and blues can’t match my heart humor!
Best Picks:
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Beats. Beats who? Beats me, I’m just here for the jokes.”
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Cardiac. Cardiac who? **Cardiac arrest? Nah, it’s just a good joke!”
