Maryland, a state full of charm and coastal delights, has a sense of humor as unique as its landscape.
If you’re enjoying the shorelines of the Chesapeake Bay or exploring the bustling city of Baltimore, there’s always room for a good laugh.
Maryland jokes bring out the quirky and playful spirit of locals and visitors alike. In this article, you’ll find a collection of hilarious jokes perfect for every occasion,
If you’re cracking jokes with friends or sharing a light moment with family.
Dive in and enjoy these Maryland-themed one-liners, because who doesn’t love a good laugh while celebrating this iconic state?
Maryland Jokes One-Liners
- Why did the crab cross the road? To get to the other tide!
- What do you call a Maryland crab at a party? The life of the shellfish!
- Why do Marylanders never play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re known for being crabs!
- What’s a Marylander’s favorite sport? Crab racing!
- Why did the chicken move to Maryland? To get some Old Bay seasoning!
- What did one crab say to the other? Stop being so shellfish!
- Why do Marylanders love their weather? Because it’s always a little bit “breezy” on the bay!
- What’s the Maryland state bird? The duck who says, “Where’s the crab cakes?”
- Why did the Marylander bring a ladder to the bar? To reach the top shelf of crab seasoning!
- What do you call a party at the Chesapeake Bay? A shell-abration!
- Why did the crab sit on a rock at the beach? To get a little “shell-fie” time!
- What does a Marylander do when they lose their keys? Call their crabby neighbor for help!
- What’s Maryland’s favorite type of music? Anything with a little bit of “crab” beats!
- What did the Maryland beach say to the crab? “Let’s get out of here, we’re ‘shore’ to have a good time!”
- How do Marylanders greet each other? “Hey, you got any Old Bay?”
- Why do Marylanders love boats? Because they can always catch a good “crab” and a great view!
- What’s the Maryland national dish? Crab cakes, served with a side of sass!
- Why do Marylanders bring crabs to dinner parties? To make a “splash” at the table!
- What did the crab say after a bad joke? “That’s a little too shell-shocked!”
- Why do Maryland crabs make terrible comedians? Because their timing’s a little offbeat.
Best Picks
- What do you call a Maryland crab at a party? The life of the shellfish!
- What did one crab say to the other? Stop being so shellfish!
- Why did the chicken move to Maryland? To get some Old Bay seasoning!
Best Maryland Jokes
- What’s Maryland’s official greeting? “Hey, do you want some crab cakes with that?”
- Why did the Maryland crab bring a pencil to the party? To draw in the crowds!
- What did one Marylander say to another at a crab feast? “You’re the crab-tain of this party!”
- Why do Marylanders love sunsets? Because it’s the perfect way to end a “crab-ulous” day!
- What’s Maryland’s secret to good weather? A steady breeze and plenty of Old Bay!
- Why did the Maryland crab start a podcast? To share their “shell-fie” moments!
- What’s the best way to catch a crab in Maryland? With some Old Bay seasoning and a fishing pole!
- Why did the Maryland crab take a vacation? To see the world from a different “shore”!
- What’s a Marylander’s favorite thing to do on a weekend? Go crabbing and hope to bring home a “catch” of the day!
- Why do Marylanders always travel in pairs? Because they believe in the buddy system—especially when it’s crabbing season!
- Why did the Marylander bring a bucket to the beach? To catch some “fresh” laughs along with the crabs!
- What’s a Marylander’s favorite holiday? Crab season, of course!
- Why did the crab sit in the front row? Because it was feeling a little “clawed” up in the back!
- How do you know you’re in Maryland? When the air smells like saltwater and Old Bay!
- What do you call a Maryland crab with no friends? A shell of its former self!
- What does a Maryland crab do when it’s feeling sad? It listens to “crab-hop” music to cheer up!
- Why do Marylanders love baseball? Because they’re always “cracking” up at the games!
- What did the crab say at the bar? “Shell me another, please!”
- Why do Marylanders always have a smile on their face? Because they know there’s always something good cooking in the pot!
- What’s the best part about crabbing in Maryland? The “catch” of the day and the laughs that come with it!
Best Picks
- What’s Maryland’s official greeting? “Hey, do you want some crab cakes with that?”
- What did one Marylander say to another at a crab feast? “You’re the crab-tain of this party!”
- What’s the best way to catch a crab in Maryland? With some Old Bay seasoning and a fishing pole!
Maryland Jokes for Kids
- Why did the crab go to school? To get a little “clawed-ucation”!
- What’s Maryland’s favorite type of bread? Crab cakes, of course!
- Why don’t crabs ever share? Because they’re shellfish!
- What do you call a crab who tells jokes? A “sea-nior” comedian!
- Why did the crab become a detective? Because it wanted to crack the case!
- What do you call a Maryland crab who loves to sing? A “rock lobster!”
- Why did the crab get a job? To make some “claws” for a living!
- What’s Maryland’s favorite candy? Crab-tastic chocolate!
- Why was the crab afraid of the ocean? It didn’t want to get into “hot water”!
- Why did the crab go to the party? To “shell” everyone a good time!
- What’s the crab’s favorite part of the movie? The “claw-some” action scenes!
- Why did the crab go to the beach with a sandwich? To enjoy a crabby picnic!
- What’s Maryland’s favorite dance move? The Crab Shuffle!
- Why do crabs make terrible comedians? Because their jokes are too “crabby”!
- What did the Maryland crab bring to the potluck? Crab cakes, of course!
- What do you call a crab that can play the piano? A shell-evator!
- Why was the crab afraid of the sun? Because it didn’t want to get “shell-burned”!
- What’s Maryland’s favorite ice cream flavor? Crab cakes and cream!
- Why don’t crabs like sharing? Because they always want to keep things “clawed” up!
- What do you call a crab who loves school? A “claw-some” student!
Best Picks
- Why did the crab go to school? To get a little “clawed-ucation”!
- What do you call a crab who tells jokes? A “sea-nior” comedian!
- What’s Maryland’s favorite candy? Crab-tastic chocolate!
Maryland Jokes One Liners
- Why don’t crabs ever tell secrets? Because they’re always keeping things under wraps!
- What’s the most fashionable thing in Maryland? A crab with a shell-ebration!
- Why did the Maryland crab go to therapy? It had some shell issues to work through!
- How do Marylanders celebrate the weekend? With crab cakes and a side of laughs!
- What did one Marylander say to another about the weather? “It’s as crabby as ever!”
- Why did the Maryland crab get a promotion? Because it was clawing its way to the top!
- Why do Marylanders love crabs? Because they make everything a shell of a good time!
- What did the crab say about the restaurant? “The food is claw-some!”
- What did the crab say to the waiter? “I’m ready for my shellfish special!”
- Why did the crab run for office? Because it wanted to make some shell-shocking changes!
- What’s Maryland’s favorite type of music? Crab beats!
- Why are Maryland crabs so strong? Because they always work out with the claw-ssics!
- What did one crab say to the other at a race? “You’re really catching up!”
- Why do Marylanders always bring crabs to parties? Because they’re always the life of the shell-fie!
- What’s the secret to a Maryland crab’s success? A lot of Old Bay seasoning and a little bit of luck!
- What do you call a crab on a date? A “catch” of the day!
- Why did the crab bring a notebook to the beach? To take some shell notes!
- What’s Maryland’s favorite sports team? The Crustaceans!
- Why do Marylanders never complain about traffic? Because they know how to crab-walk around it!
- What’s the best way to crack a crab joke? With a little shell-icious timing!
Best Picks
- Why don’t crabs ever tell secrets? Because they’re always keeping things under wraps!
- Why did the Maryland crab get a promotion? Because it was clawing its way to the top!
- What did the crab say about the restaurant? “The food is claw-some!”
Best Maryland Jokes
- Why do Marylanders make terrible secret agents? Because they can’t keep things under wraps—they’re too shellfish!
- What’s Maryland’s favorite fruit? Crab-apples!
- Why do Marylanders love to run? Because they’re always trying to outrun a crab’s pinch!
- Why did the crab call a taxi? To take it to the shore for a “crabby” good time!
- What do you call a crab who plays sports? A pinch hitter!
- What’s the crab’s favorite time of day? It’s always crab o’clock somewhere!
- Why did the crab start a fitness routine? It wanted to stay “clawsome”!
- What do you call a Maryland crab who loves music? A shell-arious DJ!
- Why did the crab go to the comedy club? To catch some funny shell-ow-ups!
- What do you call a crab who’s always on time? Shell-ular!
- Why was the Maryland crab always invited to dinner parties? Because it always brought a shell of a good time!
- What’s the Maryland crab’s idea of a perfect date? Dinner with a side of shellfish humor!
- Why did the crab go to school? To learn how to pinch his way to the top!
- What did the Maryland crab say to the waiter? “I’m looking for a table with a view of the shore!”
- Why do Marylanders like crabs? Because they’re always “claw-ver”!
- Why did the crab win an award? Because it had “outstanding claws” in its field!
- What do you call a crab who loves to tell jokes? A “pun-derwater” comedian!
- What’s a Maryland crab’s favorite accessory? A pair of shell sunglasses!
- Why did the Maryland crab win a race? Because it was always ahead in the “claw-tistics”!
- What’s Maryland’s favorite dessert? Crab cakes with a side of “shell” ice cream!
Best Picks
- What’s Maryland’s favorite fruit? Crab-apples!
- What do you call a crab who plays sports? A pinch hitter!
- Why did the crab start a fitness routine? It wanted to stay “clawsome”!
Maryland Jokes for Kids
- Why do crabs never share their toys? Because they’re too “clawsome” to share!
- What did the crab say to the jellyfish? “Stop stinging, you’re making me crabby!”
- Why do crabs make bad baseball players? Because they always get caught in the pinch!
- What’s a Maryland crab’s favorite game? Pinch and seek!
- Why did the crab get a job at the bakery? Because it was great at making crab cakes!
- What do you call a crab who loves to dance? A “salsa-shell” dancer!
- What did the crab wear to the party? A shell-ebration hat!
- Why did the crab fail math? Because it couldn’t figure out how to “divide” the pie!
- What do crabs do when they get cold? They wear their shell jackets!
- Why don’t crabs like to tell jokes? Because their timing is always a little “off-shell”!
- What do you call a crab who’s always happy? A “shell-fish” with a smile!
- What did the crab do at the beach? Take a shell-fie!
- What’s a crab’s favorite sport? Crab soccer—just try not to get caught in the “pinch”!
- Why did the crab eat a sandwich at the beach? Because it needed a shell of lunch!
- Why don’t crabs ever make good comedians? Because their jokes are too “crabby”!
- Why was the crab always so quiet? Because it was a little shell-shy!
- What did the crab say when it got a present? “Thanks for the shell-icious gift!”
- Why don’t crabs like school? Because the tests always seem “crabby”!
- What’s a crab’s favorite song? “Under the Sea”!
- What did the crab say when it was invited to a party? “I’ll be there with bells on my claws!”
Best Picks
- Why do crabs never share their toys? Because they’re too “clawsome” to share!
- What did the crab say to the jellyfish? “Stop stinging, you’re making me crabby!”
- What do you call a crab who loves to dance? A “salsa-shell” dancer!
Maryland Jokes One Liners
- Why don’t crabs ever tell secrets? Because they’re always keeping things under wraps!
- What’s the most fashionable thing in Maryland? A crab with a shell-ebration!
- Why did the Maryland crab go to therapy? It had some shell issues to work through!
- How do Marylanders celebrate the weekend? With crab cakes and a side of laughs!
- What did one Marylander say to another about the weather? “It’s as crabby as ever!”
- Why did the Maryland crab get a promotion? Because it was clawing its way to the top!
- Why do Marylanders love crabs? Because they make everything a shell of a good time!
- What did the crab say about the restaurant? “The food is claw-some!”
- What did the crab say to the waiter? “I’m ready for my shellfish special!”
- Why did the crab run for office? Because it wanted to make some shell-shocking changes!
- What’s Maryland’s favorite type of music? Crab beats!
- Why are Maryland crabs so strong? Because they always work out with the claw-ssics!
- What did one crab say to the other at a race? “You’re really catching up!”
- Why do Marylanders always bring crabs to parties? Because they’re always the life of the shell-fie!
- What’s the secret to a Maryland crab’s success? A lot of Old Bay seasoning and a little bit of luck!
- What do you call a crab on a date? A “catch” of the day!
- Why did the crab bring a notebook to the beach? To take some shell notes!
- What’s Maryland’s favorite sports team? The Crustaceans!
- Why do Marylanders never complain about traffic? Because they know how to crab-walk around it!
- What’s the best way to crack a crab joke? With a little shell-icious timing!
Best Picks
- Why don’t crabs ever tell secrets? Because they’re always keeping things under wraps!
- Why did the Maryland crab get a promotion? Because it was clawing its way to the top!
- What did the crab say about the restaurant? “The food is claw-some!”
Best Maryland Jokes
- Why do Marylanders make terrible secret agents? Because they can’t keep things under wraps—they’re too shellfish!
- What’s Maryland’s favorite fruit? Crab-apples!
- Why do Marylanders love to run? Because they’re always trying to outrun a crab’s pinch!
- Why did the crab call a taxi? To take it to the shore for a “crabby” good time!
- What do you call a crab who plays sports? A pinch hitter!
- What’s the crab’s favorite time of day? It’s always crab o’clock somewhere!
- Why did the crab start a fitness routine? It wanted to stay “clawsome”!
- What do you call a Maryland crab who loves music? A shell-arious DJ!
- Why did the crab go to the comedy club? To catch some funny shell-ow-ups!
- What do you call a crab who’s always on time? Shell-ular!
- Why was the Maryland crab always invited to dinner parties? Because it always brought a shell of a good time!
- What’s the Maryland crab’s idea of a perfect date? Dinner with a side of shellfish humor!
- Why did the crab go to school? To learn how to pinch his way to the top!
- What did the Maryland crab say to the waiter? “I’m looking for a table with a view of the shore!”
- Why do Marylanders like crabs? Because they’re always “claw-ver”!
- Why did the crab win an award? Because it had “outstanding claws” in its field!
- What do you call a crab who loves to tell jokes? A “pun-derwater” comedian!
- What’s a Maryland crab’s favorite accessory? A pair of shell sunglasses!
- Why did the Maryland crab win a race? Because it was always ahead in the “claw-tistics”!
- What’s Maryland’s favorite dessert? Crab cakes with a side of “shell” ice cream!
Best Picks
- What’s Maryland’s favorite fruit? Crab-apples!
- What do you call a crab who plays sports? A pinch hitter!
- Why did the crab start a fitness routine? It wanted to stay “clawsome”!
Maryland Jokes for Kids
- Why do crabs never share their toys? Because they’re too “clawsome” to share!
- What did the crab say to the jellyfish? “Stop stinging, you’re making me crabby!”
- Why do crabs make bad baseball players? Because they always get caught in the pinch!
- What’s a Maryland crab’s favorite game? Pinch and seek!
- Why did the crab get a job at the bakery? Because it was great at making crab cakes!
- What do you call a crab who loves to dance? A “salsa-shell” dancer!
- What did the crab wear to the party? A shell-ebration hat!
- Why did the crab fail math? Because it couldn’t figure out how to “divide” the pie!
- What do crabs do when they get cold? They wear their shell jackets!
- Why don’t crabs like to tell jokes? Because their timing is always a little “off-shell”!
- What do you call a crab who’s always happy? A “shell-fish” with a smile!
- What did the crab do at the beach? Take a shell-fie!
- What’s a crab’s favorite sport? Crab soccer—just try not to get caught in the “pinch”!
- Why did the crab eat a sandwich at the beach? Because it needed a shell of lunch!
- Why don’t crabs ever make good comedians? Because their jokes are too “crabby”!
- Why was the crab always so quiet? Because it was a little shell-shy!
- What did the crab say when it got a present? “Thanks for the shell-icious gift!”
- Why don’t crabs like school? Because the tests always seem “crabby”!
- What’s a crab’s favorite song? “Under the Sea”!
- What did the crab say when it was invited to a party? “I’ll be there with bells on my claws!”
Best Picks
- Why do crabs never share their toys? Because they’re too “clawsome” to share!
- What did the crab say to the jellyfish? “Stop stinging, you’re making me crabby!”
- What do you call a crab who loves to dance? A “salsa-shell” dancer!
