Football jokes are the perfect way to bring some humor to the game. If you’re a player, a fan, or just someone who loves the sport, these jokes will have you laughing out loud.
From puns to one-liners, football jokes add an extra layer of fun to any conversation.
So, if youâre in need of some quick laughs before a game or simply want to lighten the mood, this collection is sure to entertain.
Enjoy the best, funniest, and dirtiest football jokes tailored for every fan!
Short Football Jokes
- Why did the football player bring string to the game? To tie the score.
- Whatâs a football playerâs favorite type of music? Heavy metal.
- Why do football players do well in school? Because theyâre good at tackling problems.
- What do you call a football team that canât win? The couch potatoes.
- Why did the football team go to the bank? To get their quarterback.
- Whatâs a football playerâs favorite vegetable? A tackleberry.
- Why was the football player upset? He got a red card for bad behavior.
- What did the football coach say to the angry player? âCalm down, itâs just a game!â
- Why canât football players play chess? They keep trying to tackle the king.
- How do football players stay cool? They have lots of fans.
- Why was the football team always so tired? Because they were always running on empty.
- What did the football player say after making a touchdown? âIâm goal-oriented!â
- Why do football players wear helmets? To keep their heads in the game.
- What do football players use to keep in touch? Their wide receivers.
- How do football players take care of their teeth? They floss their way to the goal.
- Why did the football player bring a ladder to the game? To reach new heights.
- Whatâs the difference between a bad football team and a candle? A candle blows out, a bad team never blows up.
- Whatâs a football playerâs favorite type of bread? Rolls.
- Why did the football player get a yellow card? Because he was caught offside.
- What did the football player do after the game? He had a ball.
Best Picks:
- Why do football players wear helmets? To keep their heads in the game.
- Why did the football team go to the bank? To get their quarterback.
- What did the football player say after making a touchdown? âIâm goal-oriented!â
Football Jokes Dirty
- Why do football players always bring condoms to the game? Because they expect a lot of penetration.
- Why was the football player kicked out of the game? He couldnât keep his hands off the balls.
- How do football players make love? They go for a quick touchdown.
- Why was the coachâs assistant always so popular? Because he knew how to handle the balls.
- Why donât football players ever date? Theyâre always on the run.
- Why do football players love doing it on the field? Theyâre always getting down and dirty.
- How do football players like their women? Tackled from behind.
- Why do football players take cold showers? To cool off after getting too hot under the collar.
- Why was the football player always out of breath? Because he was running from commitment.
- Why did the football player cross the road? To get to the other side of the field and score.
- How do football players prefer to play at night? In the dark, for a more intimate experience.
- Whatâs the worst position to be in during a football game? The one where youâre constantly getting sacked.
- Why was the player always so tired? Because he had too many balls to juggle.
- How do football players show affection? They go for a quick pass.
- What did the football player say after scoring? âThat was one hell of a play!â
- Why was the quarterback always alone? Because no one wanted to catch his pass.
- How do football players avoid getting injured? By making sure theyâre never offside.
- Why did the football player hate field goals? Because theyâre always a bit of a stretch.
- Why do football players make terrible lovers? They always leave too soon.
- How do football players fix broken hearts? They pass it off to a teammate.
Best Picks:
- Why do football players love doing it on the field? Theyâre always getting down and dirty.
- How do football players like their women? Tackled from behind.
- Why do football players always bring condoms to the game? Because they expect a lot of penetration.
Short Football Jokes One Liners
- Whatâs a football playerâs least favorite vegetable? The quarterback.
- Why donât football players play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when youâre wearing those jerseys.
- Whatâs a football playerâs favorite time of day? Game time.
- Why do football players need glasses? To keep an eye on the game.
- What do you call a football game between two schools? A touchdown.
- Why was the football team always in trouble? Because they kept making bad passes.
- Whatâs the most important thing in football? The goal!
- Why canât you ever trust a football team? They always throw you offside.
- Why did the football player break up with his girlfriend? She couldnât catch his attention.
- How do football players stay warm? They get lots of coverage.
- Whatâs the football playerâs favorite breakfast? A scrambled pass.
- Why do football players always wear tight pants? So they can sack up.
- Why did the football team fail their test? They couldnât get past the defense.
- What did the coach do when his team lost? He called a timeout.
- Whatâs a football playerâs favorite candy? Goal-drops.
- What do you call a lazy football player? A benchwarmer.
- Why was the field so clean? Because the players always swept the competition.
- What do football players use to text? A wide receiver.
- Why do football players love math? Because theyâre good at figuring out angles.
- Why do football players have big families? Because they like to make a lot of touchdowns.
Best Picks:
- Whatâs the most important thing in football? The goal!
- Whatâs a football playerâs least favorite vegetable? The quarterback.
- Why did the football player break up with his girlfriend? She couldnât catch his attention.
Football Jokes for Adults
- Why did the football player go to therapy? He had a lot of issues to tackle.
- Why do football players make terrible lovers? Because they always get sacked before they score.
- How do football players party? They throw a touchdown bash.
- Whatâs the best way to get a football playerâs attention? Throw a ball in their direction.
- Why was the football playerâs relationship so rocky? They couldnât get past the defense.
- How do football players celebrate a win? By tossing the ball around with friends.
- Why do football players never argue? They always keep their eye on the goal.
- What did the football player say to the ref? âYouâve got to be kidding me, that was a pass interference!â
- Why donât football players use elevators? They prefer to take the stairs to the top.
- How did the football player propose? He threw a pass and hoped sheâd catch it.
- Why do football players hate Mondays? Because itâs a total sack.
- What do you call a football player with no strategy? A benchwarmer.
- Why was the football player kicked out of the bar? He kept trying to score on the bouncer.
- Why do football players hate grocery shopping? Because they always get caught in a tackle.
- How do football players like their coffee? With a little bit of extra kick.
- Whatâs a football playerâs favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat.
- Why did the football player always take naps? To recharge his battery for the game.
- Why donât football players trust their girlfriends? Theyâre always throwing them offside.
- What did the football player say after a bad pass? âI guess I need to work on my throws.â
- Why did the football player break up with his girlfriend? She couldnât handle his strong arm.
Best Picks:
- Why did the football player go to therapy? He had a lot of issues to tackle.
- Why do football players make terrible lovers? Because they always get sacked before they score.
- How did the football player propose? He threw a pass and hoped sheâd catch it.
Latest Football Jokes
- Why are football players so good at social media? Because they know how to make a touchdown post.
- Whatâs the latest trend in football? The touchdown dance, obviously.
- Why was the football player always trending? Because he knew how to make headlines.
- Why was the football playerâs phone always busy? He was always calling for a pass.
- What did the football player post about after the game? “What a game, now itâs time for some R&R!”
- Why do football players have Instagram accounts? Because they love taking selfies on the field.
- How do football players stay ahead of the competition? By keeping their eyes on the ball and their finger on the pulse.
- Whatâs the new rule in football? If you canât catch the ball, you catch the vibes.
- Why do football players like Twitter? Because they love to make short passes.
- What did the football player tweet after the game? âTime to get back to work!â
- Why did the football player turn off his notifications? He was tired of being sacked with messages.
- Whatâs the latest fashion trend in football? Under Armour and confidence.
- How do football players show their support? With hashtag touchdowns.
- Why donât football players need a GPS? Because they always know the way to the goal.
- What did the coach say after a great play? âNow, thatâs what I call trending!â
- Why did the football player get banned from Twitter? He kept throwing shade.
- What do you call a football team that just made a viral video? Touchdown influencers.
- Why do football players get so much love on social media? Because their game is always on point.
- Why are football players always in the news? Because they always make a splash.
- Whatâs the latest football challenge? The âtackle and danceâ challenge.
Best Picks:
- Why are football players so good at social media? Because they know how to make a touchdown post.
- Whatâs the latest trend in football? The touchdown dance, obviously.
- Why was the football player always trending? Because he knew how to make headlines.
Short Football Jokes Dirty
- Why did the football player bring a condom to the game? Because he knew things could get a little messy.
- Why was the football player always so successful? Because he knew how to penetrate the defense.
- Why did the football player get a penalty for roughing the passer? He was too hands-on.
- How do football players flirt? They always go for the touchdown.
- Why was the football player on his knees? He was praying for a good pass.
- Whatâs the football playerâs favorite post-game activity? A little one-on-one action.
- Why do football players hate Monday mornings? Because theyâre always sacked from behind.
- How do football players play dirty? They always go for the low blow.
- Why do football players love to get physical? Because itâs all part of the game.
- What did the football player say after getting a penalty? âI didnât mean to interfere.â
- Why did the football player always score? Because he knew exactly where to put the ball.
- Why do football players like their passes long and hard? For maximum impact.
- Why was the quarterback always in trouble? He was caught holding the balls too long.
- How do football players stay in shape? They practice their grip.
- Why did the football player throw a tantrum? He got flagged for roughing the kicker.
- How did the football player get out of trouble? He called for a timeout.
- Why do football players always end up in the end zone? Because they know how to score.
- How do football players have fun after the game? By playing a little one-on-one.
- Why do football players love their coaches? Because they know how to handle the ball.
- Why was the football player always tired? Because he was running out of steam.
Best Picks:
- Why did the football player bring a condom to the game? Because he knew things could get a little messy.
- Why was the football player always so successful? Because he knew how to penetrate the defense.
- Why did the football player get a penalty for roughing the passer? He was too hands-on.
Dirty Football Jokes One-Liners
- Why do football players always get their way? Because theyâre good at passing the blame.
- Why did the football player avoid the press conference? He didnât want to face any more penalties.
- Whatâs the football playerâs favorite position? Quarterback, always in control.
- Why do football players always come first? Because they know how to score.
- Why did the football player give up on relationships? He couldnât handle any more sacks.
- Why was the football player always in the locker room? He was always trying to get a little more time on the field.
- Whatâs a football playerâs favorite kind of workout? Anything that involves running back.
- Why did the football player get kicked out of the party? He kept trying to pass things off.
- What did the football player do after scoring a touchdown? He celebrated with a little extra attention.
- Why did the football player get arrested? For holding on to the balls for too long.
- How did the football player feel after a rough game? Like heâd been through the ringer.
- Why was the football player always so tired? He kept running from his problems.
- What did the football player say to the girl at the bar? âWant to see my touchdown dance?â
- Why did the football player go to the doctor? He had a lot of tension in his arm.
- Why was the football playerâs coach so mad? He kept getting caught offside.
- Why do football players love being on top? Because thatâs where they get the most action.
- Why did the football player fail his test? He couldnât get past the defense.
- How did the football player propose to his girlfriend? He passed her the ring.
- Why do football players like to play at night? Because itâs harder to get caught.
- Why did the football player take up yoga? To work on his flexibility.
Best Picks:
- Why do football players always get their way? Because theyâre good at passing the blame.
- Why did the football player avoid the press conference? He didnât want to face any more penalties.
- What did the football player do after scoring a touchdown? He celebrated with a little extra attention.
