If you’re looking for a way to brighten your day with some light-hearted humor, grandma puns are the way to go!
These fun and witty one-liners are perfect for anyone who loves to laugh at clever wordplay involving grandmas.
If you’re looking for something cute, dark, or just a little cheeky, grandma puns provide the perfect balance of humor for all ages. Below, you’ll find a collection of jokes that will bring a smile to your face.
If you’re a grandkid or just a fan of hilarious wordplay, grandma puns are sure to give you a good laugh!
Short Inappropriate Grandma Jokes
- My grandma can’t play cards anymore; she has a full house in her teeth. “That’s why we call her the queen of spades!”
- Grandma always says she’s “too old for this”—but she still gets into trouble at bingo night. “Guess she’s just really ‘into’ the game!”
- Grandma tried to teach me how to crochet… but it was a real stitch in the end. “Guess she was just trying to ‘weave’ a good joke!”
- My grandma’s so old, her birth certificate says “expired.” “That’s one history lesson I’d rather not hear!”
- Grandma’s cooking is so spicy; it could burn a hole through the floor. “Talk about some ‘hot’ grandma skills!”
- I asked grandma to take me to the zoo… she took me to the nursing home. “Guess she thought that was the ‘wildest’ place she knew!”
- Grandma tried to use a selfie stick… and we’re still waiting for the results. “Guess she was ‘sticking’ to what she knows!”
- My grandma has a Wi-Fi password that’s just a picture of her knitting. “Guess she’s always ‘threading’ the web!”
- Grandma tried to impress me with her TikTok moves. “It’s more like Tik-GONE!”
- Grandma said she was too old to use emojis. “But she still sends me a ton of 🤣!”
- I told grandma to stop texting me; she sent me a cake emoji. “Guess that’s her way of ‘baking’ my day!”
- My grandma always plays pranks—she put glue in her dentures. “Talk about some ‘sticky’ humor!”
- Grandma says she’s too old to date. “But I see her swiping left at Bingo!”
- Grandma’s new diet is just all desserts. “Guess she’s ‘sweet’ enough already!”
- My grandma tried to drive… the car is still parked in her living room. “Guess she’s stuck in a ‘grandma lane’!”
- I asked grandma for some fashion advice. “She handed me a pair of ‘vintage’ slippers!”
- Grandma once tried online dating. “She got 20 matches with her knitting needles!”
- My grandma swears she’s the best at karaoke. “But all she sings is ‘Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer!’”
- Grandma tried to start a blog. “But all she posts is ‘Can’t find my glasses’!”
- Grandma told me to stay out of the kitchen. “She’s cooking up some ‘old-school’ trouble!”
Best Picks:
- “Grandma tried to use a selfie stick… and we’re still waiting for the results. “Guess she was ‘sticking’ to what she knows!”
- “Grandma says she’s too old to date. “But I see her swiping left at Bingo!”
Dark Grandma Jokes
- Grandma’s been collecting dust for years. “At least she’s not the only thing getting ‘old’ around here!”
- Grandma says she’s going to live forever. “Well, she’s got a long ‘rest’ ahead of her!”
- Grandma still uses a landline. “Talk about calling it ‘out of time’!”
- My grandma’s so ancient, even her skeleton needs a walker. “Talk about bones with a ‘past’!”
- Grandma tried to teach me to drive… but her car was from the 1940s. “Guess she’s been ‘steering’ for a while!”
- Grandma says she’s allergic to new technology. “Maybe it’s just ‘byte’-ing back!”
- I asked grandma to help with my homework. “She said, ‘Sweetie, I’ve been out of school for 70 years!’”
- Grandma said, “Don’t cry, it’s just a phase.” “Yeah, a ‘living in the past’ phase!”
- Grandma gave me her old phone… it still has a rotary dial. “Talk about dialing it back!”
- My grandma has a painting of herself. “It’s the only thing that ‘grows’ older with her!”
- I asked grandma for her advice on relationships. “She said, ‘Just don’t outlive him!’”
- Grandma wanted to go skydiving. “But I think gravity already did its job!”
- Grandma’s hair is so white; I need sunglasses to look at it. “It’s like she’s ‘blinding’ me with her wisdom!”
- Grandma wanted to join Facebook. “She thought it was a senior citizen support group!”
- I told grandma she should take a nap. “She said she’s been ‘sleeping’ since the ’80s!”
- Grandma tried to learn about memes. “Her favorite one is ‘Grumpy Old Man’!”
- Grandma’s handwriting is so bad, even the ghosts can’t read it. “I guess it’s ‘spirited’ writing!”
- Grandma’s idea of a hot date is 1960s jazz. “Guess she’s ‘cool’ in the retro way!”
- I took grandma to the museum. “She said she used to ‘live’ there!”
- Grandma says she’s still 39. “But her birth certificate disagrees!”
Best Picks:
- “Grandma says she’s allergic to new technology. “Maybe it’s just ‘byte’-ing back!”
- “I told grandma she should take a nap. “She said she’s been ‘sleeping’ since the ’80s!”
Short Grandma Puns
- Grandma’s cooking is so good; it’s ‘kneaded’ with love!
- Every time grandma tells a story, I ‘spindle’ with laughter.
- Grandma’s favorite hobby is ‘rolling’ in the dough.
- My grandma’s so sweet, she’s ‘baking’ my day.
- When grandma goes bowling, she’s always ‘striking’ up a good time.
- My grandma’s so crafty, she ‘pins’ everything!
- Grandma’s baking is a ‘piece of cake.’
- Grandma’s knitting skills are ‘sew’ impressive!
- Grandma says she doesn’t age, she just ‘season’ well.
- Grandma’s hugs are ‘knot’ to be missed!
- Grandma is the ‘pear-fect’ role model.
- Grandma’s shoes are ‘sole’-fully stylish.
- Grandma’s garden has ‘leaf’ me speechless!
- Grandma says life’s a ‘stitch’ in time!
- Grandma’s cookies are always ‘crumbling’ with joy.
- Grandma’s purse is a ‘pocket’ full of surprises!
- Grandma’s sewing is ‘sew’ amazing!
- Grandma’s charm is ‘unbuttoned’ and full of grace.
- Grandma’s advice is always ‘sew’ practical.
- Grandma’s wardrobe is ‘seamlessly’ stylish!
Best Picks:
- “Grandma’s cooking is so good; it’s ‘kneaded’ with love!”
- “Grandma’s favorite hobby is ‘rolling’ in the dough.”
Knock Knock Grandma Jokes
- Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Grandma.
Grandma who?
“Grandma who’s ready to make your day sweeter than a pie!” - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Granny.
Granny who?
“Granny up, it’s time for some tea and gossip!” - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Grandkid.
Grandkid who?
“Grandkid who’s got cookies in hand for you!” - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Old lady.
Old lady who?
“Old lady you know I’m coming to spoil you!” - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Nana.
Nana who?
“Nana you don’t want to miss this joke!” - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Granny-pants.
Granny-pants who?
“Granny-pants who loves to laugh—get ready!” - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Grandma.
Grandma who?
“Grandma who’s got a ton of stories and jokes to share!” - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Sock.
Sock who?
“Sock it to me, Grandma’s jokes are here!” - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Bingo.
Bingo who?
“Bingo! Grandma’s about to win at humor!” - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Nana.
Nana who?
“Nana you can’t stop laughing with me!” - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Old soul.
Old soul who?
“Old soul who’s still got plenty of jokes to tell!” - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Laughter.
Laughter who?
“Laughter’s on its way, grandma style!” - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Grandma.
Grandma who?
“Grandma who’s about to take you to the funny farm!” - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Nana.
Nana who?
“Nana you can’t escape from my giggles!” - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who?
“Who who? Grandma’s humor is the best!” - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Egg.
Egg who?
“Egg-cited to tell you a joke, let’s go!” - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Milk.
Milk who?
“Milk-ing this joke for all it’s worth!” - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cookie.
Cookie who?
“Cookie in some giggles for you, Grandma style!” - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Granny.
Granny who?
“Granny ready for a laugh, are you?” - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Nana.
Nana who?
“Nana-nother funny joke coming your way!”
Best Picks:
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Grandma. Grandma who? “Grandma who’s ready to make your day sweeter than a pie!”
- “Knock knock. Who’s there? Nana. Nana who? “Nana you can’t stop laughing with me!”
Your Grandma Jokes One-Liners
- Grandma told me she’s an expert at gardening. “She really knows how to ‘weed’ out the bad jokes!”
- Grandma’s the queen of bingo. “She’s always ‘on a roll’!”
- Every time I visit grandma, she says, “I’m not old, just vintage!” “And she’s ‘classic’!”
- My grandma swears she’s still 25. “Guess she’s ‘preserving’ herself well!”
- Grandma always says she’s young at heart. “But her back’s been telling a different story!”
- I asked grandma what the secret to long life is. “She said, ‘Keep laughing, even if you forget why!’”
- Grandma says her memory isn’t what it used to be. “But that’s just because she’s ‘old school’!”
- Grandma’s favorite exercise is a good stretch. “She’s ‘reaching’ for the stars!”
- Grandma always says, “Good things come to those who wait.” “But she’s still waiting for her winning lottery ticket!”
- I took grandma to the movies. “She fell asleep in the first 10 minutes… but at least she ‘dreamed’ through a good show!”
- Grandma says she likes to go ‘undercover’… “She’s just great at ‘sneaking’ in extra snacks!”
- Grandma’s hearing isn’t great, but her jokes are always loud. “She’s ‘speaking’ from the heart!”
- Grandma’s sense of humor is like a fine wine. “It only gets better with age!”
- Grandma tried to teach me how to knit. “But we just got ‘tangled’ up in the jokes!”
- Grandma’s hair is as white as snow. “But she’s still ‘rocking’ the look!”
- Grandma doesn’t need a GPS. “She knows where every cookie jar is!”
- Grandma’s like a smartphone. “She might be old, but she’s still ‘smart’!”
- Grandma always says she has a ‘wicked’ sense of humor. “And I’m the one who’s ‘bewitched’ by it!”
- Grandma’s the best at finding four-leaf clovers. “She’s ‘lucky’ to have such a good eye!”
- Grandma’s motto is ‘better late than never.’ “But don’t tell her that; she’ll take it to the extreme!”
Best Picks:
- “Grandma’s favorite exercise is a good stretch. “She’s ‘reaching’ for the stars!”
- “I asked grandma what the secret to long life is. “She said, ‘Keep laughing, even if you forget why!’”
Cute Grandma Jokes
- Grandma’s hugs are the best. “They’re ‘wrap’-tastic!”
- Every time grandma makes cookies, she says, “Just ‘knead’ me to do it!”
- Grandma says she’s getting younger. “I think she’s been ‘time traveling’!”
- Grandma says there’s no such thing as too much chocolate. “And I agree, ‘sweet’ grandma knows best!”
- My grandma always says she’s ‘sprinkled’ with good luck. “And I’m ‘sugar’ she’s right!”
- Grandma told me to never stop learning. “I guess she’s ‘book’-ing us for greatness!”
- Grandma always says she’s ‘too sweet to be sour.’ “And I couldn’t agree more!”
- Grandma makes the best tea. “She’s ‘steeped’ in tradition!”
- My grandma is like a sparkly diamond. “She’s ‘rare’ and ‘precious’!”
- Grandma says her secret to happiness is a warm cup of cocoa. “And a ‘chocolatey’ sense of humor!”
- Grandma’s garden is full of flowers. “She’s ‘blooming’ with joy!”
- Grandma’s got the best advice. “She’s ‘wise’ beyond words!”
- My grandma says she’s like a fine book. “I guess she’s ‘covering’ all the chapters!”
- Grandma says, “A little bit of laughter makes everything better!”
- Grandma’s hair is always so perfectly styled. “She’s a ‘hair’-raising beauty!”
- Grandma’s secret to a happy life: “Always add a little bit of sugar!”
- Grandma’s heart is ‘full of love’—just like her cookie jar.
- Grandma always wins at bingo. “She’s got the ‘luck of the draw!’”
- My grandma calls her stories ‘legendary.’ “I’d say they’re ‘timeless’!”
- Grandma says, “Good things come to those who wait… but I just can’t wait to spoil you!”
Best Picks:
- “Grandma says she’s getting younger. “I think she’s been ‘time traveling’!”
- “Grandma says there’s no such thing as too much chocolate. “And I agree, ‘sweet’ grandma knows best!”
Dead Grandma Jokes
- Grandma’s ghost keeps haunting the kitchen. “She’s just here for the ‘spirit’ of it!”
- They say you can’t bring back the dead… but Grandma still makes the best pie. “She’s ‘baking’ from the afterlife!”
